Why I Make Time for Myself {and Why You Should Too} – Frugal Finds During Naptime

I know it sounds odd to “make time for myself” when I have a long to-do list, two young kids, trying to run a business, and a husband who works crazy hours. I have learned though that if I don’t make time for myself, I end up running on fumes. When I’m running on fumes, that means I’m empty and have little left to give my family. When that happens, the “Mommy Monster” comes out. When the “Mommy Monster” comes out, it’s NOT a good thing. It ends up snapping at my kids, snapping at my husband, and leaves our house in a not-so-good place.

I really began to notice this trend of the “Mommy Monster” constantly showing up last Summer. Landrye had JUST turned a year old, but still wasn’t walking. Sabrye was a rambunctious 4-year-old who was bored with Summer Break. I was trying to balance my time between the girls and still do some “fun-Summer” things with them, but it was a little hard and frustrating to me. On top of all of this, I was working 16-hour days because we were in the process of switching this site over from Blogger to WordPress on a self-hosted server. That meant re-building A LOT of stuff from scratch while keeping up with my usual blogging and deals. My husband was also working out of town a lot, and I was doing all of this on my own. It can be hard to balance working 16-hour days with ensuring your children are safe in the house. You can’t be everywhere in the house at once, so you just have to assume that the children are ok. However, one of my friends did recently suggest that we consider looking at some Guard Monitoring alarms for the house. This would allow me to keep an eye on the house whilst I’m busy working, ensuring that no unwelcome guests enter the house. This might be something to think about, especially because my husband isn’t at home that often with working out of town regularly. That might make us all feel a bit safer in our home.

Anyway, I was exhausted. I was snappy, felt like I was going crazy, and was tired of being around my kids. I know it sounds awful that I just admitted it. The bottom line is, I just needed a break. {Sound familiar??}

My husband is such a gracious man. He knew I was stressed and needed some time away to just “refresh” and “recharge”. We sat down and figured out one night a week that would give me a little break. This one night a week, he committed to being home on-time from work, watching the girls, taking care of bath/bedtime routine, and letting me go do something for myself. We also spoke about going on vacation. When I’m stressed, I just want to get away from the world and travel somewhere new. One of my friends recently went on a family trip to the InterContinental Edinburgh The George and told me I should go there too. I’ve always wanted to go to Edinburgh so next time I need some time away, I might take a trip!

Now, this doesn’t mean that I went each week to get a massage, pedicure, or shopping. Although those things are nice, it’s just not feasible or needed for my family. This “me-time” was set aside for me to do something for, well, me. ???? Something that would re-charge me, let me de-stress a little, and refuel me so I could be a better wife and mom. Normally, this meant I would go to Atlanta Bread or Panera Bread, have a sandwich, and focus on writing/blogging. From time-to-time, it meant I would go grocery shopping by myself. Sometimes, it was going to eat with friends.

After two weeks into having a night set aside for “me”, I began to notice I was less stressed. I wasn’t “snappy”. I actually missed my kids. I came home ready to play, read books, and spend time with them. I came home feeling like a “woman” and less like a “frazzled, frumpy, mom”. My husband liked that the most; which in turn, made us BOTH look forward to my one night away. ????

Now, I realize that you may not seem like you can take some time for you. I’m here to tell you that you can’t afford NOT to take time for yourself. Your “me” time probably won’t look like mine. Maybe some time for you looks like reading a book at a coffee shop, perusing Target without having to share your popcorn and icee, taking lessons on something you want to learn to do {my cousin takes flying lessons for some time away each week},or going to the gym. It can even be as simple as your husband taking your kids outside to play while you take a bubble bath, paint your nails, or read a chapter of a book. You don’t have to go somewhere to have time to yourself. Whatever it is that refreshes you, make sure it doesn’t cause you to overspend in your budget, is something that will truly refresh you, and is something you make a priority each week. {In fact, I recommend writing it on the family calendar so it’s scheduled out for the week.}

I recently started back having one week night to myself each week. I had to stop doing it for a while because Sabrye was playing softball two nights a week, we had Small Group one night a week, and I had prior commitments on another night. In other words, there will be seasons of your life where one night a week doesn’t work for you. Try one afternoon every other week, or one Saturday morning a month. Just do whatever works for YOU during this season in your life.

For example, I have a friend who lives in Canada who likes to use marijuana to help her unwind after a stressful week. She does not like to smoke however, so she uses edible marijuana in the form of gummies and other sweet treats. Edibles can be quite potent for a novice cannabis user because they deliver larger doses of THC than inhaling. Therefore, if you are tempted to give edibles a try, but find yourself asking questions such as “how long do edibles stay in your system?”, you might want to do some research first. I have recommended to my friend that she tries CBD oil. It is reasonably easy to access here in the US, in Canada, and can now be purchased in the UK too from companies like Blessed CBD. If she isn’t a fan of smoking, she might like this as you get all the health benefits of CBD (which is a major component of marijuana) and it can help you to become less anxious and, ultimately, relax.

Furthermore, I like what Crystal Paine said in Day 4 of her “Make Over Your Mornings” e-Course on why she makes time for herself. She said, “I like to fill my soul up so that I’m able to pour into my husband, my children, and everyone I come in contact with.” This is so true! When your “tank” is full, you’re able to help others “fill up” and still have “gas” left to go. It’s a great analogy and one that I think all moms need to embrace. I think it will make for happier moms, which in turn makes happier kids, husbands, and homes. ????

If you’re wanting to add some “margin” to your life as a wife and mom, I would highly recommend Crystal Paine’s {from www.moneysavingmom.com} affordable e-Course on how to make over your mornings. It’s packed full of practical tips, a workbook, and a few printables to get you on the right track. You may be thinking, “ain’t nobody got time for that! I don’t even have time for myself!” I’m here to tell you, that you do. It’s just 15 minutes a day. You can do it while you drink your cup of coffee or eat breakfast each morning. Crystal gives you practical advice on how to make your mornings intentional so you can make more of your day.