Just the other day, we were walking through the grocery store and Sabrye (4 year old) sees reading glasses down and aisle. She tells me, “Mommy, look there are glasses! Do you need any more glasses?” I told her, “No. I have mine at home.” She then proceeded to ask, “How many do you have?” I told her, “Two.” Puzzled she asked me, “Mommy, why do you have two pairs of glasses?” In that moment I could’ve told her a variety of reasons. Instead I told her, “Because Daddy takes really good care of mommy and wanted to make sure I had glasses.” Sabrye replied, “Yes he does Mommy!” with a smile on her face.
In that moment, Sabrye thought of her daddy. She was reminded of his masculinity and how he takes care of all of us girls. She was reminded of how hard he works. She was reminded of the good qualities in her daddy.
Too often, I think we as moms get so caught up in what our husband is or isn’t doing that we lose sight of our children’s view. In Sabrye’s eyes, her daddy is strong, fun, and her hero. She sees him as the Tickle Monster, the one who tucks her in and prays with her at night, and the one who fixes things. Sabrye doesn’t need to know if I’m aggravated at her daddy. That might skew her image of him, and I don’t want that to happen.
There are far too many kids who hear negative things about their mom or dad from the other parent. I believe this can hurt the family. It brings down moral and respect. Just think about it. If you are with a friend who complains about someone a lot, how are you going to view that person? Are you going to view them as favorable and respect them? Probably not. If you’re with a friend who builds up a person about how wonderful they are, will you view them more positively? More than likely you will because you’ve heard good things. The same goes for children. If your child hears complaining about their dad, they aren’t going to respect him as much. If your child hears you talk about their dad in a good light, chances are they will develop more of a respect for him.
Ephesians 5:33 reads: ” . . and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” To my husband, respect is key. It’s one of the things he needs, and I so desperately fail at times. I want to teach my daughter how to show respect. One way is to build up my husband in front of her. Now I’m not all gushy about it and say, “Your daddy is the best ever” and things of that nature. I do build him up when the opportunity presents itself. As wives, we should want our kids to see their dad in a good light. It has been my experience that when I build up my husband in front of my daughter, she respects him more. She views him as the leader. She listens to him better, which in turn makes for a happier house. 🙂
So women, I challenge you to speak positively about your husband in front of your kids. I know it’s hard at times when we are aggravated that he is working late again, left the toilet seat up, or whatever other little quirk annoys you. Remember though, from a child’s eyes, they don’t see all of these things unless we emphasize them. Instead of emphasizing the bad things that aggravate us, emphasize the good things. I’m sure you will see that this will change your attitude as well.